According to Frontier Lager,
Men are endangered. Years of oppression, veganism, vampire-based television series and weak, low-carb beers have nearly wiped them out.
The last place to find real men, hairy men, men who aren’t afraid of a little red meat, appears to be New Zealand.
It is becoming more and more apparent to me that Kiwi men pride themselves on their manliness. The metro-sexual invasion of the 21st century seems to have skipped this little country in the corner of the world. While one or two man-icure salons may have opened in Auckland, the rest of the men in New Zealand appear to be as rugged as a bear driving a Holden.
So rugged, in fact, that in New Zealand even the ice cream is manlier. How on earth could one expect a thundering kiwi mountain of masculinity to eat something as girly and pink as hazelnut infused lemon grass sorbet? No. Hazelnut infused lemon grass sorbet is for sissies. In Kiwi Land there is special ice cream made for men, and men only. Rum & Cola flavour, or Peanut Butter ice cream, advertised as being “Dangerously Smooth” and allowing you to “Beat Hunger, With a Spoon.” The same company also sells yoghurt for men, claiming that “man has lost his place in the world, and in the fridge.”
Without wanting to give Mammoth Supply Co too much free advertising, you have to look at their yoghurt ad. Behold! Yoghurt eaten the macho way!
It reminds me of the Speights Southern Man campaign, which celebrated all that makes Kiwi men manly. So if you’re a guy reading this and all of a sudden feel a little emasculated in comparison, then I urge you, put down your pet chihuahua, postpone your backsackandcrack wax, and study the poster below, courtesy of Speights.